Once Upon a Time We Met
Once upon a time we met.
I said, "Who are you?"
You said, "I am your parents."
Then we walked together.
We walked many paths and came upon the Abyss.
You leaped over and I did not.
"Help," I said.
"First show me you are good enough," you said.
I wondered what is good enough and stayed.
Goodbye, Approval.
Once upon a time we met.
I said, "Who are you?"
You said, "I am an infatuation."
Then we walked together.
We walked many paths and came upon the Abyss.
You leaped over and I did not.
"Help," I said.
"Help yourself, deal with it, you spoilt girl," you said.
I wondered how to deal with it and stayed.
Goodbye, Insecurity.
Once upon a time we met.
I said, "Who are you?"
You said, "I am desperation."
Then we walked together.
We walked many paths and came upon the Abyss.
You leaped over and I did not.
"Help," I said.
"Hold my hand I'll never let go," you said.
I reached out and you let go before I cleared my jump.
Goodbye, Betrayal.
Once upon a time we met.
I said, "Who are you?"
You said, "I am a friend. But call me whatever you like."
I said, "I just had a nasty fall.
I cannot walk very fast.
I may not be able to leap at all."
You said, "I see. If you need a hand, here is mine.
When we come to the Abyss
We will walk around it."
And we start walking.
(It's now 13 years later, My Friend, since
You'd written that letter I wished
My mother had written and
We are still walking, as
Best Friends, and
I love you.)
✦ ✦ ✦
Night Mare
One night the little girl slept, and dreamt that she was in a field under the stars. She saw flickering light in the grass and sat down to play with the fireflies.
Suddenly thunderous hooves shook the earth and screeching neighs rang the air and a menacing mare as black as night appeared. The night mare neighed and whinnied and lifted its front legs. The night mare galloped around the little girl, trampling the grass and the flowers, turning over pebbles and kicking up bits of damp earth.
The little girl screamed for she was afraid she would be trampled to her death. As she awoke from her terror she covered her face and trembled as she wept. Her father and mother rushed into the room and comforted the little girl with hugs and kisses.
The little girl's father made a poem and the little girl's mother sang to her:
Night mare, night mare go away
Do not spoil our baby's day
Let her sleep in peace at night
Do not scare our child of light
Go and gallop in a different field
And let our little baby heal
Neigh and whinny in a different ear
For your presence is unwanted here
So stay away and roam elsewhere
For baby does not want nightmares
Let our dear sleep like a charm
And snuggle safely in our arms
Next night the little girl slept, and the night mare visited her again. This time the little girl did not run away. The night mare neighed and whinnied and lifted its front legs. The little girl watched. The night mare galloped around the little girl, trampling the grass and the flowers, turning over pebbles and kicking up bits of damp earth. The night mare snorted with flaring nostrils and glared with bulging eyes. The little girl watched.
Finally the night mare's frantic gallop slowed to a trot, put its tired head down and sniffed around the little girl, its black mane swishing around the little girl's face.
The little girl said to the night mare, "You must be very thirsty from whinnying and neighing. Let's find water to drink."
The little girl and the night mare walked silently in the night until they came upon the River of Understanding. As the night mare drank eagerly, the river whispered to the horse. The little girl washed her face with the cool water and waited until the night mare had its fill.
The little girl then said to the night mare, "You must be very hungry from galloping and trotting. Let's find something to cat."
The little girl and the night mare walked silently in the night until they came upon the Tree of Kindness. The little girl climbed on the night mare to reach for the fruit that sat high atop the branches. As the night mare ate eagerly, the tree whispered to the horse. The little girl nibbled on a fruit and waited until the night mare had its fill.
Then the night mare opened its mouth and yawned and the little girl knew the night mare was tired and wanted to return to its field and sleep. She gave the night mare a kiss goodnight.
The little girl watched the night mare gallop away into the night. Then she sat on the grass to play with fireflies.
✦ ✦ ✦
Cup of Soul
Your cup of soul is never empty
And can never be stolen.
You were not born empty,
But learned to feel empty growing up.
You were not born full of holes,
But learned to feel moth-eaten growing up.
When you were very young you knew
You were perfectly fine the way you were.
Now that you're older, you're learning what
You once knew before you were told what to know.
What you once knew you can remember
And what you uncover, you shall never forget.
✦ ✦ ✦
First Steps Alone
The first steps alone are heavy, scary.
It felt as if I had been abandoned
In the farmer's market again
By my mother one morning
When it started to rain
And I stood there
Terrified and crying
In a familiar place
That grew foreign
I knew the way home
But I could not move
When mom left without me
She must have taken my legs too
This time it was not mom
But a teacher I'd respected
Whose enlightenment was
Marred from the spit of his ego
But unlike that day when I was a Little Girl
There was no sweet young lady
Who carried an umbrella and
Stood by me asking, "Are you lost,
Little Girl?"
Who walked me home
Down the concrete road
That I'd known but could not
See from my blinding fear
Who walked me up the stairs
Rang the doorbell for me
And waited with me as
My mom opened the door
I am my own
Little Girl's
Protector
Now
✦ ✦ ✦
Little Girl
Hey Little Girl
You're carrying yesterday's wounds in your back pocket
And every time you sit down they jab you
Yet you dare not throw them out because you'll see them
When you reach in to pull them out and you'll remember
How you felt yesterday when you were young and
Your eyes darkened with hurt that you felt
So you keep walking hoping to find a comfortable chair
A chair that takes you as you are
with thorns
But no chair can take away thorns in your back pocket
No matter how comfortable and yielding
Only you can free your jagged splinters
So you may sit before you collapse from exhaustion
From always walking and walking
✦ ✦ ✦
Your Self Becomes
When I was just five years old
I decided that the world was cold
Then I lived with life for ten when
Children became the pawn of men
As young girls ran to sweet sixteen
I waited for heaven I've not yet seen
Soon life began to up its stake
Pain to sleep and pain to wake
The price of living to twenty-five
Was to wear a thorn for being alive
Spirit asked me to "Stay one more
Then I'll see what life has in store."
I stayed to wait a little while
But had forgotten how to smile
For me the beauty of love's rose
Only happened on TV shows
Death was a forbidden cocoon
That lured my senses all too soon
I writhed in my torturous plight
When Love called to me, "Child of Light!"
I look up and said "You're nuts.
I'm only full of 'if's and but's."
Love explained, "I'll give you a ride
Just until you get back your stride."
Suspicious, I walked ahead
Expecting only dark and dread
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes
I tried to decipher the graying skies
I agreed to stay a while
But had no reason to live or smile
Love said, "Keep your feet on the ground,
Forget about that thundering sound
Thank the raindrops that may come
For that rain is your spirit's rum
You will not need a place to hide
When your soul protects you deep inside
"Falling down does not make you meek
Strength means naught without the weak
Your compassion through your pain
Is the golden lining after rain
Your self becomes the healing coals
In the fireplace of other shivering souls."
✦ ✦ ✦
Letter to the Soul of a Wounded Child
I see you in the corner there
cowering crouching crying
your head resting on the
arms that wrap around
your knees.
I feel you in the cage where
a shame and fear prison
suffocates breath and
silences laughter
from you.
I call to your soul and wake
that light eternal, one
invincible to cruelty
and untouchable
by darkness.
Your soul then rises from the
depths of abyss and fills
each pore of
loneliness
with love.
Rise, Child of Light.
✦ ✦ ✦
Little Girl
Hey Little Girl
It's been ten years
I only now realized
You're still walking
You're still looking
For your safe haven
For someone to take you in
You're still sad
You're still afraid
You're still lonely
You're still in pain
Even as you've had
An earth angel by your side
You're still looking
For a place to hide
Little Girl
I'm still here
I'll always be here
I love you and
I'll protect you
I'll keep trying
Until the day comes
When I reach you and
Take you home
✦ ✦ ✦
A Prayer for Love and Peace of Spirit
From henceforth
My brows un-crease
Fire warms my soul with
Love and peace
My mind mirrors
Air clear and calm
Water bathes my spirit in
Healing balm
Earth centers me in
Rays of gold
I am One with the
Sacred Old.